"We reduce everything into a how, there is a great how-to-ism all over the world and every person, particularly the modern contemporary mind, has become a how-to-er; how to do that, how to do this, how to grow rich, how to be successful, how to influence people and win friends, how to meditate, even how to love. The day is not far off when some guy will tell you how to breathe. It's is not a question of how to at all. Don't reduce life into technology. Life reduced to technology loses all flavours of joy."
An excerpt from emotions by Osho.
This isn't a guide to socializing; this is written by a person who thought socializing was never a piece of her cake, never will be. But eventually started exploring her limits and capabilities; you can call me an extrovert now, but an extrovert with very low social energy.
So, what is socializing?
(Which we're totally not familiar with😉)
Let's get a little formal here and know the scientific definition of socializing
Socializing is the process of internalizing the norms and ideologies of society; it encompasses both learning and teaching and is the means of attaining social and cultural continuity.
All in all, everyone who's here knows that it means to not enjoy social conversations, that it means to isolate yourself when your friends invite you for a party, that it means to give an image of a quiet person when you're probably not quiet.
There are ample reasons why a person is an introvert, or to be precise, what caused them to become an introvert, to choose their own company over others.
For starters,
1. Since I was born, I've been this way; it's just how my nature is.
This explanation is common; some just don't enjoy socializing naturally; they'd prefer staying home and watching television rather than playing out from a young age. This was probably because watching television sounded more comfortable than talking and playing with the other kids.
Most times, introverts are born so because of genes, but what is clear is that your preference for introversion or extroversion gets fixed early on. Usually, your upbringing causes an effect on your range of introversion, but on a narrower scale, upbringing won't change as much.
Dr. Marti Olsen Laney says, "Your genes make a choice, but they can make you flexible, too."
2. A certain incident would have completely changed their personality
As children grow up, they are exposed to different situations and emotions. They explore, let them affect them, and react to them. So, over time, many young people react differently when exposed to different situations; some might take it easy, react and forget about it, while some might not react but let the situation affect them in every possible way. If we're to take an example, it can be a situation where a person is publicly humiliated; this triggers a person's social consciousness on higher levels, thus resulting in an imprint of the memory and trying to avoid such situations.
Causes of introversion in scientific reasons
Researchers have discovered that introverts have higher blood flow to their frontal lobe than extroverts do; this part of the brain helps you remember things, solve problems and plan ahead.
There's a chemical that turns on the reward and pleasure-seeking part of your brain. Introverts and extroverts have the same amount of dopamine, but extroverts' brains get an exciting rush from their reward center; introverts, on the other hand, tend to feel it on a much lower level.
Explore the extrovert in you
There is a difference between being shy and introverted; being shy is an emotion, while being an introvert is a personality. Both of which can be toned down if you want to.
There are ways where you can increase your dopamine reaction levels, I'll suggest a few for you 😊
1. Discover your interests
Start knowing what you like and dislike; this will give you topics to discuss with a person with similar interests. For example, if you like reading books, and you've been doing it for a long time, and you'd like it if you could discuss books with another reader, look into book clubs near you. People with similar interests as yours would come together to talk and socialize.
Similarly, if you're into movies, join an online movie club, which is easier as you won't have to interact with IRL(in real life); this can be an easy start for you to start socializing.
2. Make online friends
Socializing doesn't always have to be IRL or physically present; you can start by making friends online through dating & friendship apps like bumble or tinder; online platforms don't put you in a situation where you have to speak that very second, you can take your time to reply, giving you enough time to think of what you want to say to the other person.
3. Set yourself some certain, practical goals
Setting goals will mostly encourage and challenge you to achieve them. Set simple and easy plans to start initially.
a. I'm going to take a day out today, watch and analyze people.
b. I'm going to talk to one stranger today.
c. I'm going to eat lunch with someone new at work today.
d. If someone approaches me, I will try and not give one-word answers but indulge in the conversation and ask questions to the other person.
4. Have conversations with peers and colleagues
This may or may not be a personal conversation; you can start with something related to your academics or work. Easy flowing conversations will make you comfortable with the other person.
🡺You can start conversations with the same-sex initially as it is scientifically proven that you're less nervous with the same gender; it gives you a sense of comfort and thus keeps the conversation easy.
5. Increase your social exposure gradually
Make it a rule to accept social gathering invitations, do not say yes immediately as you might increase your social fatigue, you can reply with a "thanks for the invite, I'll try to be there."
Behaving or forcing yourself to behave extrovertedly can be emotionally draining if you're naturally introverted. So, take this at a slow pace, do not rush.
6. Take a friend along
If you already have a close friend, take them along with you. It might make your environment a bit more comfortable, and it can be your backup plan if anything goes wrong.
Make it a point that you take short breaks in between as it's easy for your social energy to drain out; before attending any social gathering, make sure there's time to rest in between; this will increase your social stamina over time.
A note from us 😊
It's okay to be an introvert, but if it's affecting your daily life in any way, you can try and increase the percentage of the extrovert in you. Always make sure to take your time with everything you do as we know that "Time makes everything right." At the end of the day, it is okay if you don't go to bed as an extrovert, you can always wake up as one if you try 😉
Hope this blog helps you in the next gathering you go to(I hope you actually go).
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