Dec 18, 20212 min read

Saying, "No," the right way.

A hundred scenarios run to my mind where I wish I could have said no and made better use of my time. Even when I say no, people would tend to ask about why I was refraining from doing something or going somewhere. So, saying NO effectively is crucial, especially when your kind Aunt asks you to babysit for the weekend or other parallel situations.

"Focusing is about saying 'no.'" - Steve Jobs

Let's understand why we struggle to say NO in the first place:

We don't want to disappoint people

Come on now, who wants to make friends or family sad!

We fear it may anger them

Studies show we tend to say YES more often when we know it might result in a conflict if we say NO.

We want to get along with people

Saying YES might act as a tool to help us blend and fit in.

We try to be helpful

Being kind to people, so they term us friendly.

Key points that matter while saying NO

Be aggressive while remaining nice.

Try this next time, "I'm sorry, I can't right now," you, "but I'll let you know when and if I can." By shifting the dynamic, this technique is courteous and puts you in a position of power. You're taking responsibility and promising to let folks know when and if you can. "I appreciate your asking for assistance, but I'm stretched too thin right now to be of quality assistance to you," for example.

Be self-centred.

Prioritize your requirements. Not those of the individual who has approached you with a request. If you put that person's wants ahead of your own, you'll discover that your productivity suffers and hatred grows.

Maintain your composure.

If someone refuses to accept your no, you may be sure they aren't a sincere friend or don't appreciate you. Keep your cool, and don't feel obligated to give in simply because the other person is irritated.