Self-Confidence - A developing attitude!

Defining confidence,

It is being comfortable in one's skin. Standing still, trusting their intuition, taking complete responsibility for their decisions, irrespective of others' opinions, skin colour, and status.

Being aware of the skills that they own, the words that they speak with complete consciousness. Confidence is having faith in oneself. Believing that one can move a mountain might sound stupid and physically impossible, but the confidence that ends one up in making that belief is everything. It is more than an attitude; it is being comfortable! Or being vocal when uncomfortable.

Our self-confidence and self-love are interlinked,

Accepting one's flaws, be it physical appearance or any such thing that one might think that is making one feel less confident, is called self-love.

Loving oneself, loving their flaws is when their confidence builds in! When one loves themselves, loves their body the way it is, that is the moment that they feel and look confident.

Training oneself to love themselves the way they are, the way they behave might be a task initially, but after one does, they will meet the soul that loves them and is confident!

How happy does that sound? And how confident would one feel then? Even when thinking about it.

A quote by Mark Manson, author of the book "The subtle art of not giving a f*ck", on confidence goes like,

"The only way to be truly confident is to simply become comfortable with what you lack."

What does less confident or not confident mean?

When one fails to portray themselves, their thoughts in a way they wanted to, or the one who hasn't accepted the result of his decision. In simple words, the antonym of the word "confidence''.

"Confidence without clarity is a disaster", Sadhguru JV. When a person is unsure of what his thought process related to the terms that need to be spoken are, there is no point in explaining. Unclear thoughts exhibit a less confident persona. When this happens, one's thoughts or actions do not matter at all.

Things to try to be better at developing confidence,

Heard this somewhere, If you don't feel confident, pretend! I wonder how?

Few say that they feel confident when they are well dressed, apply lipstick, or have someone escort them, that might be true or false. But, in my opinion, confidence is something that comes from within. What one has been built from within? The thoughts that they put inside, the way they represent their thoughts, the way they behave, show their confidence.

Say I pretend that I am confident and I talk nonsense, does that portray me as a self-confident person? A clear no! consider yourself confident, consider that none is above you and none is below you, this is something even I practice when I feel less confident.

A few ways are:

● Telling yourself that you are confident.

● Gather around those who you think are better than you, with this you might become more like them or end up becoming worse.

● Accept your body, with fat, crooked teeth, skin colour, whatever the flaw it might be. Tell it yourself that you were born with it and you can't change it. Worrying about things that you can't change is a waste of time.

● Talk to strangers, they have a lot to say. In this way, one can be a better communicator and a listener at the same time. One will be confident since you won't know anything about the other person.

● Talk to yourself. One can improve their communication skills and the way you express yourself.

● Question more, in this way one can learn a lot of things.

● Smile often, let people know that they can come and talk to you.

● Trust your intuition, if it says something, listen to it. In this way, one will learn to make decisions and be responsible for their outcomes.

● Be your own critic! ask yourself, if the thing you are about to attempt is good for you, does it help you in any way, ask yourself and trust your gut feeling.

● Reject when you wish to, ask when you need to.

● Meditating is not easy, but not difficult either. One will have a storm of thoughts in their mind, but that is all meditating is about. With this, one will be aware of their thoughts and become confident about their thought process.

An abstract from the book ""The subtle art of not giving a f*ck" on meditation,

"If your mind is a muscle, then meditation is a way to take it to the gym. The stronger your control of your mind becomes, the more you're able to consciously control what your mind focuses on and how it processes new information. Strengthening your mind in this way affects every aspect of your life: your emotional health and self-esteem, your work performance, your discipline, your relationships, your overall happiness, your stress levels, and your physical health as well."

And "Jay Shetty", one of my favourite speakers/ modern monk/ author from his book, "Think like a monk", goes on to term it like this, "When you learn to navigate and manage your breath, you can navigate any situation in life." Needless to say about the benefits of meditation!

● Last but not the least, by taking care of one's mental health. Do not stress on the things, fail to let go, get attached, fail to express.

Why is CONFIDENCE important?

Nobody likes to be dumb in others' eyes. Even to be fine when being called dumb, that needs the confidence to take that. Confidence helps in the development of overall well-being. It helps them to make decisions, accept the results be it good or bad. It helps one become resilient. It helps one in making better decisions for oneself and others too. Confidence helps you be the best version of yourself, it helps you become the master of your thought process. Confidence pushes one forward to take up challenges, it motivates their gut feeling to stand amongst all. A confident person is less anxious. A person who is confident in the things he does will be the one who will be respected as a person.

A quote by Ayn Rand on the importance of confidence that had to be mentioned,

"The man of authentic self-confidence is the man who relies on the judgement of his mind. Such a man is not malleable; he may be mistaken, he may be fooled in the given instance but he is flexible in regard to the absolutism of reality i.e., in seeking and demanding the truth."

Concluding the attitude, confidence:

Confidence comes from within, it is developed over time and it gets better with time. Accept yourself the way you are. Not by people's praises or hatred.

Being overconfident is dangerous too, that leads to arrogance. Keeping a reminder to oneself that they are worthy, that they are confident because what one tells themselves is what they attract!

Make sure of the things that one feeds their mind. What is fed to their brain is what their thought process becomes. Remember that no one was ever born with confidence, but they developed it. So will the one working for it?

Once one develops confidence, they are halfway through their journey of success. Be it any business, relationship, or workplace. If one is confident enough, there's nothing to look back at.

Embrace flaws, failures, be responsible for your thought process, appreciate your small growth. One will be confident! With time, with the right people around, and with practice.

Thank you for sticking by! You are appreciated.

( Side note: Regardless of the context, The books that are mentioned in the blog ("Think like a monk" by Jay Shetty and "The subtle art of not giving a f*ck" by Mark Manson) they have helped me in becoming better overall and are must reads, if one is looking out for the self-help genre. )